forest preserve | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 07:25:07 -0400

Croncast - 2007-05-16.mp3
Show: #363
Length: 26:52
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

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Betsy is in selling mode and looking around all crazy
Even my Wheat Crisps from Trader Joe's is looking marketable
Elliot's got his IEP (some mumbo jumbo for meeting about your child) today
We're dropping Gigi off at her sisters so we can be childless and focus
Flyers under the shield at Wal-Mart for illegal slaughter house
Not since becoming a suburbanite have I seen a huge plunky dunky goat
They got the crazy eyes
Sitting there licking it's cloven hooves
"Moma, pet"
When goats attack
Oh, my god you have to call 911
There's a goat in front yard!
It's unusual, but a goat in your yard is an emergency
The goat hunkered down behind the cozy coupe
Could be injured and vicious
The goat had to come from the crazy farm on 87th
I'm putting goats on my front lawn
And next to that RV parking for off season parking
I'm ok with it
More people being held at Gitmo than the town I grew up in
Yeah, you are crazy Betsy
Here's the part that makes you crazy
Elliot's IEP . . . Betsy starts telling the goat story
"Guess what I saw this morning . . . a GOAT!"
We were there for 45 minutes and you told the goat story 4 times!
Elliot's special education teacher even got the goat story
In the meeting with 5 teachers she busts it out again
In the meantime Vickie's got 3 kids and a goat in her yard
It could have had babies
It could have had sex with a golden retriever and made gorievers
Animal control shows up and says it belongs to the farm
They said, "Stand back. Goats are dangerous."
I may go and apply for it, Kris
We could do a freelance goat retrieval business
I want a uniform with a patch
They wander the forest preserve
Evidently the goats freak if they hit the pavement
They go "bo honky" . . . coined by Betsy
All the neighborhood kids show up to watch
Can you imagine having a baby in you with horns?
Duct tape that fence together
"You may want to cover the children's eyes"
What did you say to Maggie?
She can't say 'goat' so she was saying 'doat'
Where's the 'doat'?
Now the environmental clean up company needs to come back and clean up pooh
The hobby farm guy doesn't want to come and get his goat
Betsy won't let me have the drink I ordered
Thanks for the call Dave about tickets for the live event . . . The Comedy Shrine will not be selling tickets for the event it is up to us to get it set up. We will have something ready by next Monday and let you know!

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Tags: escaped goat goriever cloven hooves The Comedy Shrine IEP

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 06:39:39 -0400

Croncast - 2006-09-06.mp3

Show: #271
Length: 37:06
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris September 6, 2006

The second show of the night . . . forgot to hit record
We've had a rough couple of days
You know crazy shit happens to us
When people tell you that you need to call your senator you have had a bad ass
Want to know what our lives are like . . . listen to this show
It all begins by working on labor day for Kris
Getting good for the family
I got into an arguement with chick at KFC
I should have went home
Karma has it out for me, it skewers me
Don's say stuff like that I'm a Unitarian
Nobody drives everyone walks
The area is heavily police patrolled
The family on bikes is spotted from far away
Here comes the forest preserve cop
They are half-way in between real cop and mall cop
The woman waves at me to say thanks for letting us through the crosswalk
Where did these cops come from?
I'm minding the speed limit
Two police cars driving really fast
Well, I am starting to think it has something to do with me . . .
I came to a complete stop, the real stop at a stop sign
About 1 mile from home I get pulled over
3 cop cars with lights sitting behind me
Windows down and moon roof open I hear the forest preserve cop start yapping (lying)
"He almost hit a family in a cross-walk"
Are there any problems with your driver's license Mr. Smith
No
Seems that your license has been suspended
I start thinking of Betsy immediately
I can arrest you here or arrest you at home?
Those are some sweet options
The forest preserve officer is asked, "Why didn't you radio this in?"
"I wanted to keep this off the radio", he replies
Why would it not need to be on the radio?????
Then he is treated like the mall cop that he is and leaves
Arrest me here or at home?
I have to yell out the window and ask him if I'm going to be arrested to do it here and not at my house
So let me tell you about the solid that the officer did for me
THANK YOU OFFICER WHO'S NAME I DON"T KNOW
I was saved by a bucket of chicken!!!!!!!
Now we get Betsy's side of the story
The bottom line is both our licenses are suspended and we can't drive
Thanks for the ride to work this morning Henry
We talk about NCN Podcast . . . thanks for the plug Jason! Check him out.
Betsy's eBay Barbie Locker thingy from the 50's or 60's
Wrap it up

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Tags: KFC chicken buckets crosswalk forest preserve Kris

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 125

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 05:08:55 -0400

Croncast - 2005-09-21.mp3

Show: #166
Length: 48:12
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 22.1 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 125

Thanks to everyone who has voted at Podcast Alley (when you can get through). Keep'em coming!

Shake it like Shakira
Betsy likes to see Kris squirm
The danger of being a forest preserve officer
The cat ban, put it on a leash
Adult suburbanites shooting at our cat (what they thought was our cat) with a bb gun
Trying to fit in has been a lost cause
You only really need two friends
Kris finally listens to Howard Stern and likes it
Rockstar INXS J.D. vs Marty and the effeminate Mig
I will never live down taking podcasting so serious during Betsy's pregnancy
Selling driver's licenses to 14 year olds to make cash
Giving direction on the show
Second child needs to clap for themselves even at 6 months
Radiated Ball jars of mysterious things from Bobaks
Pickled asparagus vs. pickled squash
My Name is Earl - is really funny

Tags: kris betsy croncast cat pickled