slid | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

slid down it

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:52:24 -0500

the junior high school that i attended.

Season 19 Ep 28: Caterpillar Eyebrows, Good Cop Bad Cop

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:56:37 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-02.mp3
Show: #475
Length: 29:23
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Butterfly eyebrows vs. Caterpillar Eyebrows
Like a monarch flying to Mexico
I got invited to the beard appreciation group on flickr
Oh, no Mr B
I thought it was a manly man thing
Yes, it was very manly
Betsy, you have to quit calling me 'Bears'
Please, call the people off
My queer friends, help me
It's not so bad Kris
If you loose you job we could wrap you in
We could cover your moob nipples and sell photos
It's like telling people your whole life Kris with a k
And everyone thinks you are a chick
You should let this slide
Every 5 minutes you are making another joke
I am uncomfortable with being hit on
If the strippers were hitting on me you would be freaking
There are bear strippers
Baby
I need to shave off my goatee
You dress like you are twelve
I'm not talking to you
I don't remember this story
How would he know?
Wearing the wrong size of pants
It was your fault, Betsy
You bought my pants
My needs were beyond Merona brand
The Sears catalog isn't something special
Betsy you are fighting with me instead of telling a story
Yes you are
No I'm not
Yes you are
You didn't tell a story
I'll tell a story
This is why we don't have passports . . .

Tags: Merona Target bears irs cops sears catalog

Season 19 Ep 15: KGB Training, Easy Women, The Long Haul

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:07:51 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-11.mp3
Show: #461
Length: 33:28
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

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Pick post any post
Tell me what kind of man I am
What kind of dirty man
What kind of wife walks around slovenly
You've fixed it
You look like Theo on The Cosby Show
The shirt is crazy
Right and I love it
My mom bought it from home shopping network
It is designed for a pin
It looks like a bank secretary
When these comments come in
Yeah, they come from new listeners
Do you remember the Lincoln?
Having to slide out of it shotgun style
It was always falling apart
Passing money out the door at McDonald's because window is broken
There was a lot of tension in the house early on
Years worth of tension
But the shows got better
Our lives got better
I am surprised anyone listened
I love you but my friend hates you guys
You gotta work with me people
We've gotten a lot better at telling stories
We like to deliver a good show
Hence, the word 'show'
I don't sparkle when I move
On that tip, we've been cranking out the Resale Queen
Catch up now
It's a show about topics
Not nothingness
Buy it used on eBay NIP
My improv show this week
This is your big shot
A career option
Some might call me gifted
I don't know who those people are
At a party with Betsy
She shares this all the time, "yes, I skipped a grade"
That is one of the first things people tell you
Technically what we are doing here is illegal
No money changed hands
Thank for easy women
I wouldn't have been married if it weren't for easy women
You wouldn't have been born if it weren't for easy women
There is a woman at the class who REALLY likes me
She tried to undress me during a scene
Does it make you feel good?
So we got Bar Louie and now this woman
What are you learning at improv?
First rule is to be supportive
Second is don't undress anybody
Maybe it is you
Are you sending the vibe?
No, no, no, no, noooooooo
She pulled my shirt up in front of a room of people
Audience was like ewww
Nobody wants to see my baby tummy
It looks like I was attacked by a bear
80 members?
That is not a home owner's association
I respectfully decline to go down this road
I battled with the Russian chick again
Shopping with the kids is like having a wild raccoon duct taped to your back
You get to see everyone's ankle bracelets
She took my plates
It's her KGB training
You crossed the line and should have never done it

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: Homer Simpson Bar Louie Russian women Resale Queen wild raccoon

McDonald's TV Commercial song Cha Cha Slide

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 08:57:00 -0600

It is shameful. I am a thirty-three year old father of a seven and two year old and I am writing this post.

That is my rationalization for how this McDonald's commercial got me hooked. The kids have it in DVR saved shows and I've seen it a at least 300 times in the last two months.

Corporate America you win on this one! You got to my juicy fruit-filled center, as a starving grizzly bear might call it. It's sappy and sad but damn if I don't love this commercial!

I like it so much I had to find it online and the song from the commercial for the kids, ahem. The artist is DJ Casper or Mr C depending on the sources I found and the song is called "Cha Cha Slide".

More than you wanted to know but I'm ok with that.

Tags: McDonalds DJ Casper Mr C Cha Cha Slide commercial songs

Maggie sliding a few weeks ago

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:51:19 -0500

Maggie making the most of the party.

Slide after slide.

Tags: maggie slide making party weeks

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 07, 2007

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:10:14 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-07.mp3
Show: #407
Length: 28:03
Size: 19.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 07, 2007

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I gotta keep the show notes short again. Time for me to hop in the rental and head to the airport.

It's Tell A Friend Friday - TFF - go out and get it on. Make your friends happy 3 days a week!

Show notes:
I was supposed to get the comment form cookied . . . I failed
Oh yeah, I supposed to tell the great stabbing story of 1982
It all began with my father's job
There is always tons of industry schwag
Muffler key chains and shit
Auto parts salesman goodies
The big schwag was small knives
We decided to play a game with the knives
Yes it hurt!!!
She's drinking mudslides and watching The Price Is Right
I'm bleeding everywhere
We burned through so many babysitters
Your life is more like 1875 Kris
Did your mom have a water birth in the cow tank?
Maggie is laying out her toys like Betsy's eBay items for photos

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Tags: The Price is Right auto parts TFF muffler key chain cow tank

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

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Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Breakfast and walk with the kids

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:39:40 -0500

This morning, like most Saturday mornings, I took Elliot and Maggie out to breakfast and a walk on the Riverwalk here in Naperville (slide show).

Every year the city asks businesses and artists to produce art on the animal du jour for the summer. This year those chose two animals, dolphins and turtles, then threw in a bird bath for good measure. I would guess thatt he bird baths are something that is more practical for the city to sell at the end of the summer.

But this dolphin is pretty cool:

Tags: Naperville Riverwalk Riverwalk Dolphins Elliot Smith Maggie Smith breakfast walk

Podcast Academy 5 Presentations

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 15:33:56 -0500

Thanks to Steve Fisher tipping me to the release of the Podcast Academy 5 presentations, mine included. Get them here(mine's toward the bottom): Podcast Academy 5 Schedule
iTunes

The Duke folks have links to our presentations in audio and video. Woot! You can see me in all my glory and gesticulations.BTW, in the very beginning of my presentation . . . you might think I am crazy but the voice that I am talking to is nearly inaudible.

I'll hip you non-nerds to something that might save you some time. I get way nerdy about authenticated and personalized RSS feeds for 38 minutes. So you might want to pass.

Thanks to the Duke team and to GigaVox Media for making this event happen and letting me be a part of it.

Check out the sessions from these other guys too.

Tim Bourquin, Greg Cangialosi, Noah Bonnett and Michael Geoghegan at Podcast Academy 5

Tags: Tim Bourquin Greg Cangialosi Noah Bonnett Michael Geoghegan Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:46:22 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-02.mp3
Show: #344
Length: 39:56
Size: 27.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 2, 2007

It's good to be back!
Thanks to everyone who sent messages and comments
Four weeks of not being told you're fabulous has taken it's toll on Betsy
It's a thankless job being a house wife
Betsy really needs the show, she just won't admit it
I do like success Mr. B I just don't like to work very hard
iTunes users leave us a review in the iTunes music store
I've never been stuck on one thing
Yes, I was well rounded
I still have the sharp shins
The family knows me as the idea guy
But I stick to it like peanut butter
I am like that crazy inventor guy
The creepy guy who's in his garage all the time?
I have been waiting for this
Head first into break and I was excited
But Bears, you did nothing around the house
This will be a turning point in our marriage . . . Kris will start participating
Winter brings garbage
The sky opens and beer cans fall
Kris's sliding man pants while he works
Getting that backside tan
Can you turn around and lift your shirt
You'll have a pregnancy like slider to measure the tan for a man who does things
I get less sunshine now that I am working from home
And I've started losing weight
I have . . . like it is panic
Your Weight Watcherness of the last 4 weeks are putting the screws to me
My face is saggy . . . my tummy is jubbly
You'll have lost 6 or 7 ounces
Packing it in before was the truth
I am going to end up with a post-pregnancy belly
Watch yourself big boy
You never asked me to do anything on break other than bring in the garbage can
What if I buy you a ladder?
I'm done I cede the floor to you Betsy, now tell the Volvo story
Tidal wave in the car
Zeus was nowhere to be found
She calls me, "I was driving in my car . . . "
The way I don't ever want to hear Betsy start that way
I know that I am going to end up back at Volvo of Lisle
Yes, I was correct
We hit'em up to try to get it taken care of
The gist of it is that we are screwed
"You should call customer care and start there."
"Work your way up"
Reputation management matters but auto dealers don't care
This is a fluke but the Volvo reputation for a consumer begins at the dealership
They are the ones that should care
Once it is repaired Betsy asked for a price for them to buy it outright
Big mistake
Once she told them no new Volvo that she would buy a new car from another dealer it was over
Sure it is all soccer moms around here but it doesn't matter
Now we'll keep it til the warranty runs out unless something so bad happens that they will actually take responsibility for the car being a lemon
I never leave the house now
Which brings me to my point . . . I am going to sell your car Mr. B
You can't sell my car, baby
The farthest I went from the house in the last week alone was 35 feet
Talking taxes on Wednesday . . . strikingly vivid
We thank everybody for the emails, comments and the calls
Thanks for everyone who filled out the survey
Leave us a review in iTunes

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Croncast Weight Watcherness croncast returns Volvo of Lisle reputation management

Speaking today in Chicago

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 11:14:09 -0500

Thought I would throw in a post for today's fun! I'm speaking at eLearning 2007 here in Chicago later today. My presentation, "Using RSS Feeds, Podcasts to Deliver Distance Education" is focused on a case study of the first Castlock licensee. You can download the slides from my work blog.

So there was no real travel just a $40 parking tab from the hotel.

Which appears to mean $10 for every diamond that a hotel claims. Maybe someday I'll actually stay at a diamond rated hotel and test that theory.

Tags: eLearning2007 RSS for education eLearning 2007 Chicago Podcasting for educators syndicated for education

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 07:59:21 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-12.mp3

Show: #336
Length: 34:28
Size: 23.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 12, 2007

This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard" sorry Roger)
It's been a while
When I was in Boulder I only recorded one side of the show, mine
The best fan representation of our show
How about dress up as a puffy cuffs and send up your polaroid
Mr. B you are so forgetful . . .we need of list of people who donated
I'm on it
This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard")
Not quite on it
Gone all last week and I'll be gone this week too
Betsy, "Do you know what I learned to do this week? Live without you."
It was nice and quiet without you around
Four days later I was missing you
You want me to want you 20 minutes after you walk out the door
I'll be gone over Valentine's day
Picking up the ring that already is paid for
Booba, give me your run down for the week
Betsy's bad eBay week
Goodwill Kodak slide trays makes it not so bad
Magazine "Good" with Marc Jacobs
Social Activism and Culture Jamming
Sounds like those are people who shower . . . not your people
There were no slides in the trays
"Fall over the lake"
"West side of the cabin"
This was some boring as shit man
Goodwill has been bad . . . it has been so cold
What was awesome about it was that I left
When I landed in Boulder it 54 degrees
I could tan in that weather I'm so white
54 degrees and sunny could cause me to blister
I'm surprised that you didn't come home in patchwork pants
Didn't you have homeless friends in college?
NO
My roommate used to pick up guys off IRC circa 1993
Laying in the bunk bed drunk and stoned
This strange mans leans over me and says, "Think she's want to join us."
Madrigals all the time
She was a whore monger
Those chicks scare me
How Kris became afraid of dentists
I could lord over him with my OK teeth
You never smiled until
I didn't know what a habit was
That's why my teeth are rotting out
He was the pamphlet reader
Free clinic will give you a drug you've never tried pamphlet
Well it's time Mr B to get your teeth fixed
Tongue depressors to fix teeth
She ended up with braces anyway

Tags: Roger Palek Good Magazine madrigals culture jamming Boulder, CO homeless friends

Podcast Academy 5 - February 14th and 15th

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 09:34:22 -0600

I'll be speaking with a cast of great characters including Tim Bourquin, Greg Cangialosi, Noah Bonnett and Michael Geoghegan at Podcast Academy 5 Feb 14-15, 2007 sponsored by GigaVox Media.

This time it is being held at Duke University . . . so any east coasters interested in academic podcasting, podcasting production or the technical side of podcasting should come out to the event. So don't think that if you haven't defended a thesis you're not welcome. Like I said, I'll be there.

Feel free to read the schedule for more information.

My presentation will be on authenticated and personalized RSS feeds. 'Authenticated' meaning password protected feeds and what they are good for and 'personalized' meaning that the content delivered through the feeds is specific to the individual receiver. I'll also dabble a bit in the importance of being able to track individual RSS usage.

And since this is being held at an academic institution a portion of my presentation will come from my work with JCAHO delivering professional development (sort of academic) with RSS as piece of a low-threshold Learning Managment System (LMS).

Tags: Podcast Academy 5 podcastacademy5 GigaVox GigaVox Media Duke University

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:50:15 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-27.mp3

Show: #306
Length: 36:06
Size: 24.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 27, 2006

Here with the two things that must happen: draining water and my American baby
Equating 'Christian' to all Christians including the scientists and the evangelicals
Betsy was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor
Coming off the pseudo holiday vacation
The big plate
My Fiestaware is full
Betsy sort of regrets doing the CSM interview
"I wasn't quoted that accurately"
Yes you were
The demand and filling it . . . pimps could use the same line of reasoning
Betsy is not the evil resale queen of eBay
This is what they said about you
"Smith probably won't be one of the big spenders"
That will be on tombstone
It was true . . . but it made me sound like . . .
The toy experts think that is is stupid
Betsy says the same thing except she'll still sell you one
Kris thinks it was a window into Betsy
I'll suggest an article about workaholic daddies
"My life is tough"
In the trenches with 6 year old
Hanging with family on the holiday
Are they bating me or is this a real topic?
Your parents knew . . . just chose to ignore it
The destination Grizzly Jack's
Betsy wants the pool to open at 6 am without lifeguards
"Chubb rub down the water slide" all night
The ultimate buy your kid a popsicles and a beer for yourself
Wisconsin right here in Illinois
The greatest Italian beef sandwich of all time
Waiting in a restaurant with 3 babies and a toddler
"It's good cause it's spicy"
Baby, that was hot Oscar Meyer beef processed in a factory
You may die tomorrow but just eat it
Was I as a kid it tasted different
Kris was 19 before he ever had Chinese
It's the same stuff you eat everyday, just chopped up smaller
Betsy has to bring up my mom, thanks
The Little Tikes Activity Garden that was sold out from underneath Gigi
Yes, yes . . . please leave now
There's two things at work here
Betsy's humor out of context with her body language and affect missing she comes off harsh
Kris isn't sure that he knows that person
Betsy says that Kris is shoving Betsy into fame two hands on her fanny
"Why don't you just let me dumpster dive and raise your children. That's all I want to do."
Weekend discoveries
We saw The Black Keys Saturday night
It's not the same song
A man singing about himself and his peanut butter sandwich
Kris goes deep
Betsy nominates Kris to be neighborhood Santa
Kris takes it personally
Betsy, "I thought you had the body type for it."

Tags: Fiestaware Christian Science Monitor Grizzly Jack's Grand Bear Resort Peru Pizza House The Black Keys

Beck's Saturday Night Live performance video

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:14:13 -0600

I stumbled across an mpg version of Beck's Saturday Night Live gig right before the Thanksgiving. Before I could link up to it I thought that I would hit Beck's site . . . and sure enough the video from both performances was there for viewing. And . . . the mpg that I had seen was a screen capture from the site.

So instead of linking of to a lower quality version of an already low quality encoding of the video here are the directions:

a. go to www.beck.com
b. get your mouse to top left and drop down boom box and stop audio
c. go back left and get the menu to slide open
d. click the "video" button
d. click the "SNL Oct 2006" button
e. choose your speed

Tags: Beck SNL Beck Saturday Night live Beck Clap Hands SNL Saturday Night Live

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 06:59:19 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-20.mp3

Show: #304
Length: 29:42
Size: 20.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 20, 2006

It's a comments show thanks to Nick T.
Is Nick T. real?
Kris doesn't think so
Not gonna break down that wall
Betsy is gonna read the email
Turns out she reads it in a Tiny Tim voice
"Nick . . . our kids are in bed. It's my time to be an adult"
"What is compelling about our show to a 10 year old"
Nick is Kris from the future
The allure of 30 year olds hanging out on the cul de sac
Did Nick's parents put him up to it?
Betsy says she swears a lot for an adult
Betsy, "My life revolves around sippy cups and wiping people."
If it is real I am all for it
I new I was never going to get a job in the FBI
What would I do if the kids were awake
Elliot knows the Goodwill employees by name and length of employment
Do you think we should stop swearing?
No
Kris lays down the documentation of what we documented when we started the podcast
Betsy wants to stop selling junk and sell cars
She could take smoking up again and drink on the job
In 2006 with the Pomade in the hair . . . creepy
Her male co-workers would be in for it
The man really make all the big decisions
Man soap and deodorant
Too much hygienic responsibility for one man to take
High fa luting tooth brushes for the bear
It's too easy not gonna turn that one around on you
Being repossessed with your car
Ben's "Barf" comment
Barf means snow

When you gave that presentation in 5th grade did you show photo
Let me tell you about my dad's Nova
It was a grass killer, worm farm starter and plant holder
The old school steering wheel
The back seat was plywood with foam on top covered in denim
Did you wear a seat belt or bungee cord?
I was free range
Stuck my leg in the door and got leg closed in door
And Kris puked immediately
It hurt like the "dickens" . . . just for Nick T.
Mustache of grass 10 inches high
What happened to the Nova?
It eventually was removed upon municipal ordinance
It was the beginning of my worm farm days
Running the hose under the car at dusk to come and collect night -crawlers
The microphone comment and email . . . this is special
Congratulations to Dave and to Dave and Melissa
I'm sure he became more attractive after he opened the envelope
Kris would be a malpractice lawyer for patients suing cosmetic surgeons
Words of advice from Kris, go after Dr. 90210
Betsy can relate
"We need a hot cameraman," Betsy
PodCampWest talk on Wednesday

Tags: Barf detergent Dr. 90210 PodCampWest rusty chevy nova plywood car seat

Podcast Academy 4 - I'll be speaking

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:01:05 -0500

Podcast Academy 4, "Podcasting and Video for the Professional at the Podcast and Portable Media Expo" was announced earlier today. It is being held the Thursday before the Podcast and Portable Media Expo begins, September 28, 2006.

I have the great fortune of being one of the instructors for this event. I will be presenting in a morning session on podcasting integration. The title of for my session is "Successful Web Design for Podcasting".

The goal of this session is to have attendees take away an understadning of the essential ingredients that go into a successful podcasting website. We'll discuss different types of podcasting websites, their ease of use or lack thereof, interactive elements, graphic treatments and campaign readiness.

Say what? Site design is often overlooked as many businesses begin the task of communicating with internal departments, external agencies and consultants after they have chosen to produce a podcast. The website is an afterthought, when it should be considered from the very beginning of the initiative.

I would recommend that if you are the individual chosen to become your company's resident expert in all things podcasting that you consider attending this event. There will be plenty to learn about audio podcasting and its sibling video podcasting from experts like:

Michael Geoghegan (Willinick Productions)
Greg Cangialosi (Blue Sky Factory)
Craig Syverson (gruntmedia)
Noah Bonnett and Rachel Smith (88SLIDE)
Tim Street (French Maid TV)
Alex Lindsay ( MacBreak).

Registration is now open.

Tags: PA4 Podcast Academy 4 IT Conversations Podcast and Portable Media Expo