suit | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Making SXSW, Puff that Cuff, Saul Bellow

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:14:23 -0500

Show: #600
Length: 24:59
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

It is hot in Texas!
Today's show is great
From what I remember this morning when I uploaded it
Hope you're all well
Hot hot hot
I get them show notes tomorrow
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: san antonio sxsw austin texas spring hill suites

Season 23 Ep 25: Sam Pullah

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:08:52 -0500

Show: #600 Sampler
Length: 3:45
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

It is hot in Texas!
Today's show is great . . .
From what I remember this morning when I uploaded it
Hope you're all well
Hot hot hot
I get them show notes tomorrow
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: san antonio sxsw austin texas spring hill suites

Partner Whiplash, Full Facemask, Psychic Dominance

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:22:35 -0500

Show: #555
Length: 27:56
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Being married to your best friend
You gave me whiplash!
I would charge $20 for that
The memory was priceless
Betsy gots paid to blog
She grabbed my hands
Told me she was a psychic
She was setting up the dominance
First you must be mind raped
You have to cooperate
He should chew on my hair to know more about me
I wore a pant suit
He tells me, "You're the type of woman that takes a lot of time with her appearance."
My job was wiping developmentally delayed kids
Not professional
I wore splatter resistance cotton to work
Success in a box
So why do I need to go see one, now?
You can't wear a full face mask in NYC
The bus driver wouldn't even let the dude on the bus
Tell me how I was freaking out?
He was wearing a rubber fucking suit
Maybe it was skeevey subway dude?
You win
You would prefer that I not work and pursue a comedy career
Why does that bother you?
My friends are jealous because you are letting me do what I want
But you're not
You, my lady, are comedian
You have this opportunity, you should take it!
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: psychic connections rubber suit professional blogger comedian face mask

Season 23 Ep 20: Croncast Sampler

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:10:43 -0500

Show: #555-Sampler
Length: 4:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: psychic connections rubber suit professional blogger comedian face mask

Croncast The New York Days

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:25:05 -0500

Croncast - 2009-12-31.mp3
Show: #535
Length: 8:42

Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Croncast the New York Days Begins on January 13th!
We're making some changes
The new shows are paid subscription
Sign up on the Get Cool page
New York is like living on an elevator
You're all up in everyone's business
You try to relax but you can't
No one can
All of the pet roles have been recast
Keeping it subterranean
We can't do a full episode, baby
Has New York changed these people
What sort of sales pitch is that
You got to pep it up!
Getting Cool 4 Life
That is the patron level
They love what we do and want to support it
People can unsubscribe at anytime
No missed days . . . we gots obligations
We also have a new live video show
That starts January 18th
It's called High Society Salvage Co.
All new, all kinds of awesome
I've got Chanel suits to auction off
All kinds of weird stuff
In conjunction with Tim Street we'll be cranking that one out
Begin subscribing by going to Get Cool
It's all good people!
Kris's cheap chair implodes during the outro
Couldn't have planned it better
It's funny to other people
All part of the story
All the old shows will still be free on the site and on iTunes
New start for us number 447
2010 here we come!

Tags: New York Kris Smith Betsy Smith paid podcast subscription unique rss feed

Season 22 Ep 08: Naperville Buh Bye, Speedy in pocket, Flying over tornados

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:15:12 -0400

Croncast - 2009-08-31.mp3
Show: #534
Length: 30:18
Size: 27.8 mb
Format: mp3

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Let the reboot begin
Still don't have the studio set up the way we would like
Whatever, don't leave a comment on the old shows
Seriously, a mummy might crawl out of your ear buds
Betsy breaks down why the shows stopped
It's the real deal
They heard the show
The offer was pulled
It pre-dated even their interest in our home
So much conflict from it we had to stop
Hard finding buyers
You guys knew all about the crazy
They didn't just call up
She furnished a transcript
Thanks to social media you can't feed the trolls offline
They knew we were in a bind
How can you be special when the whole world knows?
You're not on the inside when it's public knowledge
Enough of this crap
Picking back up where we left off . . .
Leaving Naperville
The car arrives to take us way
You can't tell that story yet
The New York story has to wait
"I am a rock star," Elliot
What do we move with - 6 suitcases
Getting on a jet plane
House hadn't closed yet
No place to live
Not a job offer
Finding new homes for dogs
Missing the four legged family members
Betsy has Swiffered her way out of the house
Grabbing Speedy
I didn't get a chance to say, "good-bye to the house."
Wasn't that weird for me
Airport hotel
I'm thinking holy shit I have nothing
I had a four bedroom house
Now I am moving across country wth 6 suitcases and a hermit crab

Tags: Naperville limousine hermit crab speedy

for you and me

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:26:12 -0400

not the real thing but the real suit. could be the real flag for those of you that believe the conspiracy. no judgment here.

Tags: real judgement conspiracry flag suit

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0400

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

I've got a new blog

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:20:40 -0400

I've got a new blog! But you have Croncast, Kris. What gives?

I realized a couple weeks ago that all of my nerd talk on the Croncast blog about RSS, API's, photo blogging, affiliate programs and the other tangents doesn't really suit Croncast all that well. Some of you are interested in that stuff but others of you could care less. So I am spreading out!

My first new blog is Talking RSS, http://talkingrss.lokwat.com. Where I can fill my quota of geek for the day by talking about RSS.

Tags: Talking RSS photo blogging geek quota lokwat.com

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0500

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

suited and on the way

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 11:41:04 -0500

Took this while on my way to an interview.

I got some serious jowling in this photo.

Never again will I pill my neck back to get my head in a shot and the camera out of it.

Tags: back head shot camera neck

Suiting up - via twitter

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:29:24 -0500

I'll be wearing a suit tomorrow to an interview for the first time in nearly a year. Good thing they still fit!

Tags: suit and tie

Kosso Rocks. Here's why . . .

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:26:05 -0400

Not just because he can pull off a black suit with white Puma's but because he is showing Croncast some love at Podcast.com.

During Gnomedex, Kosso added Croncast to the recommended list of podcasts on the home page at Podcast.com. Thus, making him the coolest British guy that I know. Prior to the addition he already held the title but this solidified his status in my British Friend Hall of Fame Museum (BFHFM).

If you know of a couple thousand square feet, or maybe a couple square feet, that would be available for me to start the physical version let me know.

Tags: Kosso Podcast.com black suit white shoes BFHFM british friend hall of fame museum white Puma

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 15, 2007

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:33:00 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-15.mp3
Show: #397
Length: 29:34
Size: 20.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 15, 2007

photo on left by dave winer and photo on right by josh hallet thanks to both!

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The nerd things that drive me crazy
Betsy is going to find me a online geek mistress
That would be sweet
You go ahead and marry that girl Mr. B
After days of this haven't you had enough?
Apologies for no show on Monday
I blew it on Sunday and had to take the red eye
No one wants to hear your drama
If it were done on graph paper it would have all been good
I didn't hear any of this "life would be better on paper" at Gnomedex
Here's what made it so cool
I had my nerds on one hand and my baby on the other
It was our 11th wedding anniversary
Yeah, and you take me to a nerd convention
Your nerd buddies are cooler and much more high functioning than I thought
Apologies to me for the ewok comment
A dude was dressed as a pirate
It was just one guy
The 12 sided dice and hoods were missing
The 11th wedding anniversary is as special as turning 36
Up to 10 you are swimming upstream . . . after that . . . floating in a tube
Seattle is a great place
You didn't plan our dinner Mr. B
Yes I did . . . reservations are a plan!
That is a large step
The restaurant turned out to be really nice
There was an attentive gay waiter
Can you hire one of those for me here at home
The beautiful view
Then a 3 story tall lighted Cadillac Escalade barge floated by
Nice view
The other awesome part was that you got to meet some listeners
Mark is an awesome guy
I know I told you that
Yeah, but you are usually wrong
At the party I saw the nerds trying to sink into their ringer tees
You have blossomed like a $10 orchid
Having social skills, Mr. B you have grown
Betsy got to see me in my element
I still don't get your people
Let's take Kosso for instance?
You can't pick Kosso he is normal
What about the guy dressed as a pirate Mr B?
The dudes that split a suit
The pic on right above is from the Thursday night out
Strange woman talking to us, looks at floor and walks away
The nerd wife put one shiny shoe right in front of him
My Nerd!
This nerd off limits
She busts out, "Well, I dress him!"
Not in a ha ha way
I don't understand your "Party Only" badge
She scared me
Those chicks look alright . . . "The Women of WarCraft"
God Damn
I'm not in to that type of stuff
These chicks were hot on a nerd level scale
We're going to score some mad nerd ass tonight
My people were talking to you because you were a personable lady
You've got nerd engagement skills
You've got to pretend your eyes are lasers
Yep, right here buddy
Asking a nerd what they do is not the right thing to ask
It is always difficult to explain
You asked me what the hell do you do?
Then tell them my title . . . right, what does that mean
The guy on the way home asked me, what do you do?
What was your reply Betsy?
I do nothing. I buy and sell shit.
So your husband is a nerd? Are you a nerd?
No
Do you podcast?
Yes
How many times a week?
3
You're not a nerd?
Do you sell your stuff online?
Yes
You're not a nerd?
Do you watch Heroes?
Yes
Watch John From Cincinnati?
Yes
You're not a nerd?
When buying swag for nerd events don't buy them white shirts
The other great part for me was first alcoholic beverage in 10 years
I had to announce it because you called me the teetotaling nerd husband
Not he hardcore found Jesus type of not drinking
That's not it Betsy
My first drink was Jagermeister with Aaron Brazell
I broke the seal and enjoyed the libations
Had an awesome time on Saturday night with Mark, Greg, Aaron, Kosso, Steve, Josh, Dave C., Mike, Chris, Michael and Dave D.
Not having to be on, Betsy's specialty
Betsy does her first improv class
Pretend you are a tree
Were you there?
My theater background is you know . . .
Yeah, lying under a theater major once doesn't count
My neighbor is in this class
Leave us some comments
Great American Yard Sale is this weekend
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Gnomedex 2007 Seattle Great American Yard Sale improv class The Women of WarCraft Jagermeister

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:24:48 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-06.mp3
Show: #394
Length: 36:42
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Early intro to explain this show has lots of the electric popping noise in it. I thought I had this figured out for the show recording but I didn't. However, I did find a solution after today's show was recorded . . . clear shows from here on out.

My windscreen smells like a pack of condoms
What you got in your suitcase?
Yeah it has packed since I left for Colorado
OK Kris, mine smells like a today's sponge left out for four days
It's been 3 weeks since we have done a show with just us
The untold story, I almost didn't go to Colorado, Kris
Is this like Slowsky?
We fly in the face of karma
I preemptively heed the warnings
Four days out from leaving for Boulder it begins
Like the Volvo won't come out of park again
OK Blackwater Betsy
They drag the old decrepit bitch in
Volvo of Lisle has repaired it for the 4th time
They give me a Hyundai
We know what the problem is mam . . . you dripped some soda in there
No, look at the record . . . this is the 4th time
If I can't drink soda in my car remove the cup holders
The problem is that everything in the gear shifting area has been replaced
Splenda is not sugar, it is a secret ingredient in concrete
Now I owe the dealership $300
That is one less cool experience at Elk Mountain Resort
How am I going to help you out? I will be in San Francisco
That would be cash at hand
Your guilt and negativity goes both ways
I get to the DMV with Gigi on my hip to get new plates
Line to another line to another line
Boss Hog will drag you out by your ear
Don't get out of hand Ms. Mommy pant
Can we get a supervisor over here?
I know that is the auditor
Mam, your plates are illegal!
Oh, now I am going to be arrested at the DMV
I end up in a line with bikers
A line full of the scariest men
They all keep trying to talk to Goo
I've never seen a baby give that look
She's not going to ride bitch to anybody
She'll be leading your gang in 10 years
I know exactly what the problem is
There is only one man in Springfield who can take care of this
The bikers, Skanky and Skanky
It turns out that Skanky wants to sell his car to Skanky
Maggie hears the guy yell and she freaks out
Now I am freaking out
All your fault Mr. B
Your likability was going down by the day
The plates from Slowsky moved over to Volvo
I don't own the Volvo, you do Kris!!!!
What if I want to hit the road in peace?
Thanks Oprah
I was in there for 53 minutes
I got sucked in to other peoples drama as I waited
Betsy gets attacked by a tick
Now she needs to tell the neighborhood
The neighbor tells her that she just got back from New Jersey
She was there to help out a family member that got sick from a tick bite
The ticks in New Jersey know your name before they attack
This is all happening the night before you leave
Thank god the Elk Mountain staff is released early every morning to remove all ticks and flea dip the deer
I will never have a vacation as good as this because I am married to you
Oh, you are too kind baby
I was holed up 30 miles from Boulder in a hotel by the highway
They call themselves suburbs, but they don't know
Working late at night doing the nerd thing
I get to the hotel late
You're supposed to have a non-smoking . . . don't have it
You're supposed to have king . . . don't have it
The room smelled musty and like nothing I had smelled before
All this while I have to rationalize hopping into a bed that a lot lizard just has sex with a trucker in
The next morning I wake up and head down to the front desk
I bitch and moan then realize that this girl is 11 years old
I ask to be moved to another room
She reaches into her pocket and pulls cell phone
A roadside motel run by pre-teens
"I can't move you but my mom can. I can call her to come down here."
I rolled on out
I came back the next night and asked to be moved again
We can move you . . . but not for three days
I then get the burrito craving
Qdoba happens to be open right next to the truck stop
You're gonna have to re-wrap that burrito
Why?
Beans were falling out of it
He looks at me, "Sir you need to understand . . . if you bit into this it will explode in your face."
This can't be fucking happening
I am going to eat it here and cut it in half
His eyes twinkle . . . are you sure that you don't want us to cut it . . . I have a really big knife
His concern for my burrito did not go unnoticed
Colorado out to get me . . . three months ago
Stop Mr. B you can't tell this story we've gone too long
We'll be in Seattle on Thursday!!!
If you can make a live show we'll be doing it
If more than 6 people want to come we need to get a place to do it
I have one fan . . .Mexico Mike, total troll
Selling mescaline by the highway
I'll be in on the 8th at 10 am
We'll be there for our 11th anniversary
Why spend alone we want you
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Qdoba burrito hotel by the highway Longmont CO exploding burrito Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Croncast Live Naperville Jul 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:47:55 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-09.mp3
Show: #384
Length: 32:56
Size: 22.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

First of all we need to thank everyone who came out to the show last night! Thanks to everyone who attended and those who become Croncast roadies in the process to help me wrangle gear and toys that littered the stage.

Turns out that we were both a little nervous and it comes through on the show but it was a ton of fun to do. More practice, more better.

So for those of you who couldn't make it out we've got today's show for you recorded from The Comedy Shrine. In the very near future, thanks to videographers Mike Marusin and Evan Brown we should have some video to share. For now you can check out these Flikr photos from Mike and Brian Beatty.

Special thanks needs to go out to Betsy's dad for helping to make this happen and to Dallas and Rachel Blair for driving out from the East Coast to come and listen to some strangers get down about their suburban platitudes. Time for some show notes.

Kris blows the intro but leaves it in because this is what happens nearly every show
Maybe there needs to be less light for you Kris
More basement like and it would work for you
You look warm
I had to get puffy cuffed
You guys get the full on puffy cuff
The intro happens again
Rolls right in to Mike's comment
Betsy takes it to task
What me go out and get a job?
I've have awesome stuff happen
Bring home cockroaches in my purse
Well, if I continued my current line of work
People have been doing it for ever
Sort of like prostitution
I'll buy it as a favor to you
Teri Horton, Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack?
It's all about the fucking provenance
People are trying to take advantage of her
They show her sitting around the VFW hanging out
You can hear the live audience
We've been pretty excited
But most you haven't (listen to hear the tone it is a joke)
We work hard for you
This is show #384
I'm just kidding!
Sure it is passive aggressive but it
We have a lot more fans in the Pacific Northwest and New York, New Jersey areas
Yeah we could have filled two more tables
Betsy put together an outline for the show
Betsy and Jeanie going on the "greatest road trip ever"
Jeanie is all about the free drive
I still can't believe you are going
I've got one with adhd and a toddler who bites
Don't you remember Slowsky?
The Volvo is Slowsky reincarnate
The Valhalla middle class outreach program
Here comes Jeanie
She doesn't look like a truck driver does she?
I can't believe that you didn't carry a gun in your semi
Betsy on a zip line
You are going to die
We've all been honest with you
Jeanie, now you know I am going to put my fat ass on a zip line
Yes, Betsy I will shoot a gun from a Hummer for you
This is our basement . . . nearly
Just shooting targets
Maybe kill a deer remotely
Betsy rationalizes it as thinning the heard
I'll take the kids to hang out at John Elway Dodge
Jeanie was thinking a massage but now it's guns
The only place that I think I could shoot off a machine gun in peace in solutude would be my dads backyard
Need an inexpensive divorce in Illinois or fast bankruptcy?
If so visit www.gshiltslaw.com
Thanks to Gary for making the show happen
Jeanie tells the story of her dad finding a body
Attendee off the street A.J. also found a floater at Niagra falls
Betsy gets her dad going about the trips
Gary sets it straight with Sleazers butcher shop
What about the zebra steaks?
Betsy shows off her sweet scores of the week
Her Gucci bowling bag
The fisher price teddy bear
Well what the hell is wrong with a used bathing suit?
That's going to do it for us
Behind the scenes outro

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Tags: The Comedy Shrine Terry Horton Gary Shilts Valhalla vacation Jeanie

Turned the knob to cPanel 11 today

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:40:14 -0400

On a nerd scale of Star Wars vs. Star Trek I've gone Battlestar Galactica for cPanel 11.

As a challenged command line web server administrator I rely heavily on the WHM and cPanel suite to make my life livable. Sure, I got some SSH moves but they really suck and make my forehead sweat when I have to bust them out.

Scary to you? Way scary to me.

I've used cPanel for about 4 years now and this new version is the most significant upgrade of them all. More control over stuff like php.ini without having to ssh in, Ruby on Rails support and the ability to add Pear packages on the fly without having to recompile php.

I did a little nerd dance.

Tags: WHM cPanel 11 Ruby on Rails cPanel pecl cPanel 11 Pear cPanel 11 RoR

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 20, 2007

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:40:01 -0400

Croncast - 2007-06-20.mp3
Show: #378
Length: 44:56
Size: 30.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 20, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Gots to keep it short on the show notes today because it is the Man's birthday and I need to get him set up for the day.

At the end of the last show we went into the found bones a bit but today we bring that story to a conclusion. At a length of around 45 minutes for today's show, you can rest assured that it was another thing that would only happen to Kris.

Here's a couple of keywords and phrases to describe it:

bones in the river
park police
city police
crime scene investigator
post 9/11 monster rescue vehicle
investigators
wet suit
bald man in shorts

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: bones in the river Post 9/11 vehicle walking hot spot rubber boots sun burn

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:37:52 -0400

Croncast - 2007-06-04.mp3
Show: #371
Length: 34:31
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Pick a post, any post to leave us a comment
Betsy starts the show by flossing with her own hair
Keeping in natural
Betsy gnawing on her hand
Kris says, "epididymitis" got his body part skin layers a bit off
Just swinging with the kids
Catherine the Great I am not
Why would you do that?
Are you kidding me
I've got the death march covered
I got a layer food to keep me alive for any miles long walk
Driving by all the closed down health clubs
They always open, they always go out of business
Locally owned and operated
Mega health clubs
Now the locals have signs like 27 months free
I asked who the hell would go there?
My dad
Le Beau's Health Club Aurora
Let the porn music play
Picture my dad as a tour guide
Using a lighter with your eyeliner
Le Beau's used to be in the country but now is surrounded by subdivisions
He would sit us down with a role of quarters
Maybe is just seedier in my memory
Mr. Le Beau comes on TV
We can't just keep open with the big
The leather bathing suite
I think it's great
I always thought Judy was fabulous
Cheated printed suede
Life Time Fitness is the one you are talking about
Everybody that joins gets a chubbiness check right away
The people come out with the pinchy things
It's fear marketing right your face
I know I'm fat, why else would I be here
They're telling you that you suck, you're worthless
And people are so sold on it
But if you work really hard you might be as cool as the receptionist
Waiting for the real estate class to start
She's 26 taking a stress test at Life Time?
Do you need another reason to hate yourself?
Lifetime is a fitness cult
They do it like other cults by getting into your head
Then they take your money and that of your other family members
And next is the indoctrination of your friends
Oh Mr. B
Busting my ass on eBay
No I'm not bitching at you
The Resale Queen post about the baby stuff
Jenny Rush rocks!
She stepped it up for the person here
Don't worry, Jenny Rush signed an NDA for our address ;-)
The first 6 months of his life she watched him during the day
Yeah, he had about 12 seizures today
Sure but it worked out because her son had the exact same type of epilepsy
He turned out okay, right Betsy?
Yeah, he became a doctor
No, he's gay
Kris, it doesn't get any better than a gay doctor son!
Who's gonna take care of you
If Elliot grows up and becomes a gay doctor I will join Life Time
What Jenny did was really cool
I am having that same sort of feeling that I had about 1 year into podcasting
There just is this network of people that keep doing things that we normally wouldn't be able to do because of proximity
Kris, this is the way that women take care of each other
All, I wanted to find was to find someone with a bigger trust fund than mine
And then I got you Kris
I got a trust fund!
A Folgers can full of Marlboro points up in the cabinet at my folks house
"You could have anything that you want baby, We're halfway to the pool table"
If I could hit rewind Bears
I would marry someone else, lived with him for 30 years, waited for him to die and then hooked up with you with his money
Oh, baby, I feel your bitterness
We go through the up periods and downs like everyone
Lately the introspection is a result of what great fortune has come to some friends
Their lives 3 years ago were completely different
For them it is a best case scenario type thing
Betsy is going to put her top 10 reasons that Naperville will change together

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Tags: Catherine the Great LeBeau's Health Club Aurora Marlboro points Folgers can Life Time Fitness

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:54:42 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-15.mp3

Show: #327
Length: 29:45
Size: 20.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 15, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Daniel Broad.
Daniel may be trying to kill me
"Tomorrow, your close call with crumpets," Betsy
The audio fidelity of Croncast
I'm a free man
No more corporate job
Now I can talk all the shit I want about my office mates . . . Betsy, Elliot, Gigi
And since you're my wife no sexual harassment suits
But if you keep up with the broken monitor thing
You go this geek cry baby phase
The water cooler moment
I hope this isn't how our conversations aren't going to be
Today starts podcasting job full time
Where did that weird conversation guy go
The new monitor screen is brighter than the sun
This monitor makes Kris happy
The screen real estate . . .
It is shooting geek happy rays from the screen
Gateway is working to chemically alter nerds
Elliot vs. the salmon
Kris, "Maybe tomorrow we can look for salmon flavored candy . . . salmon flavored yogurt."
Elliot, "I am going to puke."
Vomitus a lotus commences
Fish floater story
Do fish really have floaters
I never did eat the brussel sprouts as a kid
The sound of the electric knife
That is how I knew it was time to eat at Grandma's during the holidays
Betsy is sick and so are the kids
The foreigners are trying to kill me
That four letter word that starts with 's' that drives Betsy . . . sale
Betsy can't find a sales person
The bar stool dance
Now the German chocolatier are after Kris
Choked with a Riesen chocolate
Pluses of being a chubster, strong throat hole
Evidently I hadn't been breathing for a bit
Sunday night is back for HBO with Rome

Tags: Elliot vs. salmon screen real estate fish floater Riesen candy Rome on HBO

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 08, 2007

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 07:33:02 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-08.mp3

Show: #324
Length: 30:02
Size: 20.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 08, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Robert Sullivan.
The big news is that the show is now Betsy only!
So today we are going to talk about plushies
1/2 on why you shouldn't buy plushie smurf's
Buy the PVC ones they are good
OK Kris is still here
Betsy says that I make is all drama
Tell the people what the news is!
BMX'n baldie that is close
This is the third new job . . . did I give it away?
I got a new gig!!!!
Podcasting and coding full time from home in my basement
I answered one of those signs by the road . . . not really
Mommy will need some alone time
I'm here. That was my commute up the stairs
Kris, you have to reign in your workaholic ways
I have had the two jobs for long
It was time to slow down and focus my career
One job dedicated to distance education and one for myself podcasting
I say, "stoked" 50 times during this bit
Stay at home working out of the basement, you're already dead pale
You haven't been on the Wii in a week
This has been going on for a while
The ball has been rolling but it had to fall into place just right
Business transactions that had to work
Do you have a title? Nope
The cards are on the way
If I wanna be with the man I can be a VP of something
Man, it goes on and on
We flew out and looked at houses
That's hilarious, Kris . . . didn't you listen to our vacation shows?
Boulder is a world apart from Denver
Celebrating Betsy's birthday two days early
Her mom and her sister celebrated . . . I sat there with no gift
Who are your customers for the purses?
Not me . . . ladies like me are Stone Mountain bitches
Her mom wants to go on a QVC tour for vacation
The matching outfit from the hanger trip
Friday night . . . oh Betsy . . . invited to a gallery, dressed for bingo
Asking for your husband's help to dress
Granny grey wool pants, purple sweater with yarn hanging from it
Betsy looking very 1991
The dopey brown shoes capped it off
"I'm ready bear," baby the bingo outfit isn't going to cut it
What do you have that is black?
So Betsy wore her mom's clothes
Left to her own devices she would be in trouble
"Why did you like it so much Bears"
"Uh, you brushed your hair."
Dress up nothing, not even a match about her velure suit

Tags: velure suit Stone Mountain pants QVC tour PVC Smurf Robert Sullivan

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 07:44:42 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-01.mp3

Show: #321
Length: 34:26
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 01, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Bernadette Bean.

Betsy yodels for Bernadette
Our 400th year of Croncast
I'm surprised this isn't an anniversary for you
the 4 millionth minute of Croncast
Any resolutions Beeboo?
I want everyone to be nicer to me . . . that's a wish
Shopping for clothes on December 31 is a great way to start
It'd be nice to wear a smaller size
Shaper things that are for post pregnancy
Is it stomach? Is it thighs? I don't know
Getting the pudding back through the funnel
It is the new age corset . . . Flexees
Nope my wings were still popping up over the top
Asking the sales lady for help
She was old and saggy, she was probably wearing Flexees she had to know her shit
I didn't throw a penny on the floor and ask her to pick it up
The first thing you do is get a full body suit
That is absolutely crazy
If you want extra control
You could sell be at Bobak's if I wore that
It's like an unnatural sausage casing
So goes Betsy so goes the family
Going to be looking for new pants
Kris used to be a size 34 two years ago
Jumped from the train and landed in the pudding
I won't wear a man Flexee
All I got were chubbies by the little Andre Agassi pant ends
That is absolutely horrible
It is rock bottom for the chubster
2006 was the year of excess for us
We did everything to limit this year and we did it with food too
Kris's lunches this year . . . way expensive
Gotta spend the business money
Then buy yourself something that is gonna last
I had to eat, I had to, to keep the tax man away
Kris will ratchet down his lifestyle
We're gonna eat chicken and vegetables everyday
I picked up a veal roast . . . walked around with it . . . thought about the baby in a box . . .and put it back
Can't get into lamb either
I've worked with those little sheep, they are not that cute
You just went cross-eyed what are you looking at?
The beasties that bust loose from your drop ceiling
Gerald Ford conspiracy is afoot
Not to diminish the passing of an individual
James Brown was buried is sparkley shoes . . . Amen
Let's make it a 4 day weekend
The carrots that I am given
Kris is a nocturnal rodent that is kept awake during the day and has to sleep at night
The troll Kris would be if he were single

Tags: Flexees full body Flexees Bernadette Bean Andre Agassi veal roast

Ron asks, 'What Equipment Do You Use?'

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:27:57 -0500

It's been a while since I talked about the equipment that I use and no time seems better than now thanks to this question:

"Can you tell me what microphones and mixer you use to record Croncast? (I heard the "expensive" microphone show recently and I had to laugh--I'm more interested in two microphones that are in the $100-$125 price range [each]).
Thanks!," Ron

Here's what currently makes up my audio signal path, hardware and software for Croncast.

2 - Marshall MXL 2003 microphones (Ron, for an extra $25 you won't be disappointed) [link]
2 - Universal Audio 6176 channel strips w/ preamp and compressor [link]
1 - PreSonus Firepod [link]
1 - Sony VGC-RB62G computer [link]
1 - Sony Sound Forge 8 audio editor [link]
1 - Waves L2 Ultramaximizer mastering compressor [link]
1 - Sony Vegas 6 multitrack for putting show together [link]
1 - Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1 KHz
1 - MP3 Tag Tools to edit ID3 tags [link]
1 - iTunes to add more meta-data specific to iTunes (I can explain way below this)

This is what takes a Croncast from nothing to something.

Here's the breakdown.

Marshall Electronics MXL 2003 [link] microphones . . . I recommend these mics to everyone that asks. And after recently cheating on them with a Neumann U87ai I like them even more. With a price tag of $149 at most dealers you can't go wrong. We've used them now for two years and I own five of them. The sound is clear, they knock a lot of ambient noise down and their pick up pattern is second to none with a great low end and limited high end. The mic comes with a bass cut and a -10dB pad switch that can help when finding the right sound for your voice and recording space. These are phantom power microphones so I need a preamp.

Universal Audio 6176 [link] analog channel strip with 610 Tube Microphone preamp and 1176LN compressor. These two units are a new piece to the puzzle. They've replace the dbx 166XL that I was using for some limiting. The 6176's bring a nice warm sound to the shows that the 166XL didn't have. Most studios use them for recording bass tracks or heating up/distorting some vocals but I prefer them on a little lower setting to add a level bass and compression to our voices that would take me a couple of hours to create in post production through eq and other plug-ins.

PreSonus Firepod [link] is a 24-bit/96K FireWire recording interface with 8 preamplifiers (8 XLR/line inputs with phantom power). I originally bought this to replace an M-Audio MobilePre that was flaking out and causing intermittent popping in tracks. The reason that I chose the Firepod was primarily the 8 XLR inputs with phantom power to multitrack instead of force output to a single stereo track . . . a huge plus when recording more than 4 voices for a show. Also, if the UA 6176 wasn't part of the signal chain anymore I could live with the sound, I did for five months.

Sony VGC-RB62G [link] Intel Dual Core 2.8GHz with 2GB RAM. I've done little modification of this box other than adding a new video card, an extra FireWire card, a gig of RAM and a second hard drive. Usually, I prefer to build my own computer but was in the middle of the Alltel Racing Podcast when the old one died and I needed something right away. I went to Fry's and this box was best thing that they had in stock that met my requirements. It is or was sold as a Media PC and came with remote, surround speaker set up and more software than I could care to have (primarily the shit that just gums up the system). The only complaint that I have had so far with this computer is that every input in the back of it USB, FireWire or 1/8' has a ton of electrical noise in it when used for recording. I am forced to use the front 4 pin FireWire input for what should normally be a transparent sound recording.

Sony Sound Forge 8 [link] audio editor. This is the software that I record the shows into. I have been using Sound Forge for the last 7 years. When I got my first computer in 1999 at age 25 I learned how to use it by working with Steinberg's WaveLab (another great audio editor) but late in that year switched to Sound Forge. WaveLab had a lot of great features but they never compared the bundle of plug-ins that came with or for Sound Forge. WaveLab relied on the VST model and Sound Forge on Direct-X which meant that there were also more plug-ins to choose from. The killer plug-in was the Noise Reduction tool that prior to version 7 (maybe 6) wasn't bundled with the license. It is the best noise reduction tool on the market. I've heard most of the rest first hand, even the ones used in million dollar studios and would still choose the one in Sound Forge. I don't use Noise Reduction on our show but when doing post on audio recorded out of the studio I use it about 90% of the time.

Waves L2 Ultramaximizer [link] mastering compressor. Yep, I already ran the audio signal through an amazing compressor in the 6176 but the L2 puts the finishing touches on the wav file before I close out Sound Forge. This plug-in is the secret in my sauce. I have used it for about four years and find it's sound brighter, more open and louder than any other including Ozone 2 or 3 (which is an attempt to recreate the sound at a lower cost).

Sony Vegas 6 [link] multitrack video editor. Video? Did Kris just say, video? I sure did. When this product was first developed by Sonic Foundry it started out as a multitrack audio mastering suite that was supposed to be an upgrade from their Acid line of software. That didn't quite work out and they released a second version for video. With two competing versions on the market they made the wise decision to morph them together into Vegas Video, Sonic Foundry was bought by Sony and the rest is history. I use Vegas basically the same way that I use Dreamweaver for coding pages, as a template. All i have to do for Croncast is plug in each new recording on the timeline and poof there is a fully mastered show.

Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) all shows are encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1. This lowest quality that I will encode my own work to or for that of a client. This range is somewhat higher than many podcasters will recommend for a speech driven show but I find that anything less sound hollow and purely focuses on midrange sounds. Blah. At a bit rate lower than 96 Kbps most audio encoders, like this one, won't allow for a sample rate of 44.1 KHz. I used to encode the shows to a lower value two years ago when we first started but then iTunes came to town and studios started cranking out CD quality audio files. Once that bar was raised I figured it was okay for me to join that party.

MP3 Tag Tools [link] to edit ID3 tags. It is open source and the best ID3 tag editor that I have found. It will allow you to make changes to version 1 and 2 tags that will cover most of the popular media players like WinAmp, Windows Media Player and iTunes. It'll even let you add up to 18 images per file in the album art that can be displayed in iTunes.

iTunes for adding iTunes specific data to the ID3 tag. Didn't you already do this? Sort of. iTunes uses on the variances of the ID3 V2 tag standard to display meta data that is included with the MP3.

That is it friends. Once all that crap has happened it is time to upload the show to the server, fire up Castlock, start adding show notes and then make the show available for download.

Tags: MXL 2003 Universal Audio 6176 PreSonus Firepod Waves L2 Ultramaximizer Sony VGC-RB62G

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 06:51:30 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-29.mp3

Show: #307
Length: 29:25
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 29, 2006

Don't forget you can leave comments at any time on the site
Okay Mr. B, it's hard to buy for a Puffy Cuffs
It appears that I am going to be getting my own QVC clothes for Christmas
You sound like someone who would wear Carson
Kris isn't sure about this
Just make sure it's all on one hanger, Betsy
I would choose not to wear
Betsy is a liar . . . here's the post we mention on the show
Back in the cave man days you would protect my seeds
EGL = Evil, Greedy and a Liar
Betsy just builds upon our lives
Betsy Smith and Kofi Annan cage match
It has gotten under Betsy's skin
It could be a woman
Somehow selling on eBay is evil?
It was all of things in Resale Queen that pushed him over the edge
Cabbage salad
No problem it bounces right off
If I am truly being taken as the Resale Queen I need to sell some stuff
Betsy was eaves dropping
The white swimsuit on a 10 year old . . . Kris doesn't get it
Betsy says worst idea ever
Another reality show idea from Betsy
Find an Elmo TMX in the next 20 minutes
If you were single Betsy no man would marry you with your eBay addiction
And she would drive an El Camino and a homemade plywood trailer
Nobody would bite me
Seller mad time
Time to thin the horde
Donations, donations and donations for the kids

Tags: Puffy Cuffs Mr. B QVC clothes cabbage salad plywood trailer